feelsbadman
September 2021 - These waves were scary af.
It’s 4:37am. For some reason it’s during the early hours of the day that my brain is at its best when it comes to writing, it would be nice to know why but I’ve no idea. Moving on, ‘tis the end of another year - feel like time is passing by quicker and quicker. You blink and you miss an entire month. Crazy.
It’s been a difficult one for me - not for the reasons most people would attribute it to but rather my own individual… battle? Situation? Dilemma? Idk. It’s the thing I’ve probably written about the most this year, mainly because it was of the greatest importance. I’ve tried to stay busy but any moment of peace I get my brain goes back to it immediately. There is no way to stop it. I guess it needs more time as the wounds are still fresh. It will heal eventually… I hope. But the scars will remain, of that much I am certain.
You know last year I wrote that I hoped that the next year would be better - and if I’m honest, it doesn’t feel like it was. That one thing single handedly altered the outcome. I lost a pretty big part of myself this year. It sounds weird to say it but I miss the future. Is that a thing? Probably not.
There have been some positives to the year though. A change of scenery is always nice. I’ve also made some decent gains in the gym despite my numerous injuries which is awesome. A few other things too - for which I am eternally grateful. So it isn’t all doom and gloom - although I do write about that kinda stuff a lot huh? When did this become so depressing lol.
Anyways, it’s that time of the year so spend time with your loved ones. Tell people how much they mean to you and that you love em. Don’t forget to spare a thought for those around the world who can’t enjoy the holiday period and are struggling - if you have any way to help people then please do. Even a small act of kindness can go a long way. I’m gonna write the same thing again now which is funny, but I really hope next year is better. For you and for me.
I’ll see you soon.
